Recently while in a local retail store, two employees walked by my daughter and me while conversing. As they did, we could not help but hear their conversation. It was laced with the most vulgar and crude language. They showed no concern that my daughter or I heard what they were saying. A few weeks ago, a parent at my wife’s school met with his child’s teachers. During the meeting, he used crude and horribly offensive language within earshot of his children. Apparently, he saw nothing inappropriate about this. It seems everyone is cussing these days. A few years ago, The Hill published an article, “Why lawmakers are cursing more now than ever.” It once would have been politically disastrous for a politician to be heard cursing in public and career-ending to use such language in any official capacity. But in the last few years, everyone from city hall to the White House seems to be using R-rated language. There have even been a few pastors who gained notoriety (infamy) for using curse words in their sermons. Something has dramatically changed.

When I mention the growing ubiquity and common usage of swear words, my children often respond with an eye-roll and say something along the lines of “this is the world we live in.” It is the world they have grown up in, but I remember when it was not so. This is not to say that cussing is a new phenomenon, for it has always been part of a fallen world. Part of the sinful rebellion of man is to use the glorious God-given ability to communicate and express ourselves with words and pervert it with curses and crudeness. The phrase “cuss like a sailor” has a long history. In 1699 Cotton Mather said of sailors in a sermon about the fear of God, “Is not the sin of profane swearing and cursing, become too notorious among our sailors? Filthy speaking, bawdy speaking, unclean and obscene ribaldry is too commonly heard in the mouths of sailors.” The difference between the days of the puritans, my own childhood, and the present is that in the past, such “obscene ribaldry” was understood to be obscene and actively hidden from polite society.

Soldiers and sailors have always cursed, but there was a time when they would guard their language when ladies were present. Football coaches have long been known for their salty language, but there was a time when they would be sure that the fans could not hear their vulgarity, and they would not dare speak such words on a television broadcast. There has never been a time when R-rated language was not part of the vocabulary of some. Still, until these most recent days, it was not part of professional life, polite society, or when in the company of women or children. Today vulgar speech is everywhere.

Because cussing and swearing are so common, our cultural fortitude to discipline the most egregious offenders has been surrendered to a begrudging acceptance. In the classic Christmas movie, A Christmas Story, Ralphie’s mom punishes him with a bar of soap in his mouth for saying a bad word. She demands to know where and from whom he heard the word. The narrator explains that he heard the word from his father. But knowing he could not call out his dad, he lied and said it was one of his friends. His mother then immediately called his friend’s mother, and we overhear through the phone what sounds like his friend receiving a savage spanking. The 1983 movie was set in December 1940, but it might as well be set in 1540 on another planet because such visceral responses to filthy speech are no longer the norm. Today parents curse in the presence of children, children only receive mild discouragement when they curse in the presence of their parents, and no one expects to have their mouth washed out with soap for anything they might say.

The commonness of cussing has undoubtedly had a deleterious effect on the etiquette of our day, but there may be a positive element to it. Jesus says in Matthew 12:34-35 (ESV), “For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil.” Like the fruit of a tree testifies to the nature of the tree, so do the words of our mouth testify to the nature of our heart. Our words are the outflow of our heart. It is tempting to look back at the social etiquette of my youth and think that there was more righteousness then because there was less filthy speech. I believe the truth is that there was just as much wickedness then as now, but because of cultural constraints, there was more attention to presenting yourself one way when cultural norms demanded and another when you could be your true self. What is positive about our present situation is that people no longer feel compelled to cover and clean up what flows from their mouths.

As a pastor, I have noticed that this has affected how others respond to me when unwholesome words are spoken in my presence. Early in my ministry, when someone would curse in my presence, they would almost immediately apologize. It was not that they had spoken a word they were ashamed of or did not use regularly but that they had spoken it in the presence of a pastor. Today, being a pastor no longer affords me even a modicum of reprieve from the vileness of everyday vernacular. Even still, I have come to see this as a positive. No longer is polite etiquette a façade that hides the truth of who people are.

To be honest, it saddens me that my favorite college football team’s coach is so profane that when the TV cameras catch him on the sideline, they should blur out his mouth. It annoys me that scriptwriters for television and movies today have a weird obsession with a particularly offensive word and overuse it to the extent that the dialog loses its resemblance to reality. It breaks my heart that our children are growing up in a world saturated with vulgarity. I am nostalgic for the days when public cursing was so restrictive that the final line in Gone with the Wind was shocking and controversial. However, I am thankful that the false façade of cultural righteousness has fallen.

When Jesus spoke the words of Matthew 12, he was addressing the Pharisees. They were the ones who were hindered from seeing that Jesus was the Messiah because of their confidence in their own righteousness. These are the people that Jesus said were like “whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people’s bones and all uncleanness, outwardly appearing righteous to others but within full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.” The Pharisees were confident in rejecting Jesus because they were sure He had nothing they needed. Perfect people do not need a savior. Righteous people do not need atonement. When reading the New Testament, we are often tempted to view the Pharisees as villains and enemies of Jesus. It is true that they opposed his ministry from the start and actively plotted to kill Him until he hung on the cross, but I think we should pity them more than hate them. Pity them for their blindness to the truth. Pity them for their foolish confidence in their own feeble rule-keeping. Pity them for choosing the law that condemns rather than the Lord who redeems.

The cultural context in which I grew up had some frightening similarities to the pharisaic façade of righteousness, hiding inward hypocrisy and lawlessness. There once was a day when a man could teach a youth Sunday school class on Sunday morning and then at work throughout the week use the lewdest language without concern. Cursing and dirty jokes were carefully confined to places and among people where it was accepted, but when among polite society, language and conversational subjects were carefully curated. Even those who genuinely strived to live righteously were often tempted with the titillating thrill of sprinkling a few “safe” curse words in their speech for dramatic effect. The culture of my youth had an outward appearance of righteousness, but within was often full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.

Though it is uglier and more profane, it is better to curse like a sailor in every situation and know the true condition of your soul than to be foolishly confident in your own righteousness because of being able to edit your speech when necessary to appear righteous. Though it seems to be pulling at the threads of common decency, it is better for our secular friends to speak according to the true nature of their hearts rather than pretend to be something they are not because only then can we have a true conversation about the transformation that Jesus brings. And rather than pining for a return to a culture that was more righteous in nostalgic memory than reality, the church should recognize that the only way to change the words that flow out of our mouths is for Jesus to transform the nature of our hearts. We should pray for the redemptive work of Jesus, who rescues sinners, transforms reprobates, and makes new those who once were dead in sin. The ubiquity of swearing is not the problem, only the symptom. We must not attempt to control the expression of symptoms but pray that many would come and experience the transforming remedy that is Jesus.

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