Happy Father's Day dad

Most families have events that remain in the collective memory that when seasoned with time produce laughter. In my family these events are often boiled down to a single phrase that simultaneously calls forward the memory while producing laughter. One such phrase is “there are no wires across the Pacific.”

In the early nineties, I had the opportunity to travel with my church to Hawaii for a two-week mission trip. This was to be the furthest I had traveled from home, thus my parents were naturally interested in what provisions I chose to pack. My mother requested I pack sufficient sunscreen, but for the most part, neither parent challenged my decisions as to what to take on my trip - that is until the issue of money came up. I had gone to the bank and purchased a small sum in traveler’s checks. The amount I purchased was certainly not enough for the whole trip but enough that if I found myself in an emergency would be sufficient.

Now at this point, some historical perspective might be helpful. The late 80s brought ATM machines. I remember my father’s excitement and my amazement that he could get cash out of an ATM even when we were out of town. Then in the early 90s came debit cards. Ubiquitous today they were unique then. New and exciting the debit cards could be used as a credit card and the funds would be debited directly from your bank account. And with any new system, there was a lag between the introduction, acceptance, and understanding.

Using my debit card was my plan for spending money on my trip. There was no need to carry large amounts of cash, I would simply use the card for most purchases. When my father asked how much money I planned to take his disapproval was apparent when I explained to him my plan. To his thinking, I was not taking enough cash. He feared that I would not have enough money to last throughout the trip. Furthermore, he was unimpressed with my decision to use the debit card. His mistrust was not with the card itself for he used his own debit card around town. His issue was what he perceived as my naïveté. His thinking was logical and practical, and he methodically laid out his argument why my debit card plan was flawed. He started with a lesson on geography. He explained that the distance to Hawaii was halfway around the world. To make his point he explained that the distance from California to Hawaii was at least twice as far as the distance from Georgia to California. Furthermore, he described the sheer impossibility of stretching phone wires from Hawaii to California that would be needed to link the ATMs there with my bank in Georgia. Moreover, he expressed his sincere doubt that the banks in Hawaii would want to verify my account funds by calling (long-distance) my bank in Georgia every time I wanted to make a purchase. His argument was sound and unshakable in his estimation. Yet as any father or son will attest such a well-constructed argument was received more as a challenge to prove wrong than wisdom to heed. And like many teenage sons, I ignored his warnings and promised to prove him wrong.

Technology has dramatically changed our understanding of the world. In a previous era where technology changed with slow deliberate speed, people had the luxury of time to understand it. Not so anymore. In a world where today’s new technology is obsolete in three years or less the idea of understanding the technology that we use is as ancient as adding machines and typewriters. My father, who is a lover of technology himself, and I were discovering this reality. I no more understood how the ATMs in Hawaii would be able to deliver me cash any more than he did, yet where we differed was our relationship with technology. He sought to understand it. As such, he applied his knowledge of how things had worked and made assumptions based on that to understand new technology. On the other hand, I was born just in time to attend the funeral of such things as typewriters, adding machines, and carbon paper and witness the adolescence of computers. Thus, I was free from the desire, ability, or need to fully understand the functioning of technology and lived with an assumption of its integration and availability.

So off to Hawaii I went. Both he and I were sure that the other would be proved wrong. I’m sure he waited expectantly for a call from me desperately asking him to wire some money. I left determined that even if it required fasting I would not make such a call. I would discover that Dad was right – it was further from California to Hawaii than from Georgia to California but he was wrong about expecting me to run out of money. Throughout my trip, I used my debit card for almost every purchase. I used my card at a few ATMs to get cash for the few places that would not take the card. And with each purchase and withdrawal, I meticulously folded and stored every receipt.

Me and my dad

On my return home I came triumphal. Only fathers and sons can appreciate the joy of winning such a debate. As I began to tell of my adventures and travels, I presented my father with a fist full of recipes. As he looked them over and realized what they were a smile broke over his face. He knew that I had been right and there were indeed wires across the Pacific.

I may have won this little debate but by far my dad has proved to be a wise and godly counselor, mentor, and father. The lessons and wisdom he imparted to me are treasures beyond measure. As we celebrate Father's Day this Sunday I am reminded of how blessed I am to call L. Ben Smith, Jr. my dad.

Happy Father's Day dad! I love you!